I prefer to call watermelons sweet pumpkins (and pumpkins bland watermelons). The truth is, watermelons are barely an improvement on a regular glass of water and a lot more effort. If water had an inch thick skin and pips, we'd all be dehydrated. However, one could argue that vodka tastes nicer mixed with watermelon than it does with water so I'll begrudgingly let them on the ark. Only two of them though. Mostly so I can watch the pair of racoons fight over them. Those stripy cats don't know how to share.
In reverence of the un-fruitiest of fruits (who's candy counterparts would undoubtedly beat them in ten rounds of paper, rock, scissor) I bequeath to those who want a seat on the bus *drumroll* : Slaughtermelon.
75 pieces have been stamped into fine metal searched out by recovering truffle pigs trying to get back into the industry. SUPPORT THE PIGS. They're around 25mm across and have proven difficult to chew (the pins, not the pigs).