Here they come, shoving their stink into the situation. Wielding their misery like a weapon. Fun smooshers. Joy swallowers. Black holes. Party poopers. There's always one... or in this case two. Like hoomans, apples are great until you get the bad one.
These bad apples are GOOD though. Do you like 'em green and bitter, or red and sweet? No matter my loves, I gots some of boths. They're around the size of a Cadbury's Giant Button, struck by cider makers in the South West out of hard enamel. Take a bite.